The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 85

The Pen is in the kitchen, staring into air, bored silly.

Francis, the cat, enters the room.

The Pen´s eyes open wide and its mouth drops open in shock. The Pen looks up as if talking to God or someone else high and mighty.

Pen (mouths silently): Thank you!

Francis, the cat, is seriously pissed.

His fur is multicolored in light shades of blue, yellow, pink and green. His cheeks and his tail are dyed a bright red.

Francis nears the Pen.

The Pen is trying, God only knows why, not to burst into laughter, unsuccessfully.

The Pen can´t take it anymore and is about to lose it, when Francis gives it a “death glare”.

Cat: Don´t even try it!

Francis walks by the Pen and just when he thought he could get by unscathed…

Pen: Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh God…
Cat (doubles back): I told you to be quiet!
Pen: Ha! Ha! Ha! I can´t! This is just too good!

Francis sys, annoyed.

Pen: did you just come back from the gay parade or something?
Cat: What? No!
Pen: Did you fall into a bucked of bleach?

Cat: No!
Pen: Paint?
Cat: Please shut up.

Pen: I can´t.
Cat: why the heck not?
Pen: because this is gold!

Cat (confused): gold?
Pen: yeah… pure gold!
Cat: what the heck are you barking?

Pen: Okay, first of all, I don´t bark! I´m not a dog. Second… oh god, Francis you make it so easy.
Cat: I make it easy?
Pen: Oh yes.
Cat: Make what easy?

Pen: For me to mock you.
Cat: you mock me because you´re demented and evil.
Pen: No, I´m a Pen. You´re a drunkard who´s been spending too much time at the beauty salon.

Cat: I wasn´t at the beauty salon.
Pen: Oh no?
Cat: No.
Pen: Then how…

The Pen stops mid sentence and all the recent excitement turns to fear.

Pen (cont.): Oh no!
Cat: yes…
Pen: No! No, no….
Cat: yup! She´s back!

Pen: Oh God!
Cat: Not laughing now, are you?
Pen: where?

Cat: heck if I know. She finished with me and then ran off to find some other poor innocent soul to torture.

Pen (hopeful): so she left?
Cat: Don´t know.

The Pen starts to look to the sides, clearly panicking.

Pen: Francis?
Cat: what?
Pen: I need a favor.
Cat: You need what now?

Pen: A favor.
Cat: from whom?
Pen: from you.
Cat: Ah hell no!

Pen: please!
Cat: what do you want?
Pen: I need you to take me somewhere.
Cat: Me? What? Why? Wait… where?

Pen: remember that time you buried me in the yard?
Cat (grinning): yes…
Pen: do that again.
Cat: what? Why?

Pen: so that hells spawn can´t find and torture me.
Cat: Sorry…
Pen: what? Why?
Cat: too late…

Tiffany, Jason´s niece, comes along.

Tiffany: there you are kitty.
Cat: Go away, you devil child!

The Pen tries, unsuccessfully, to escape unnoticed.

Tiffany: Oh look! The Pen from before. You really like this Pen don´t you kitty?
Cat: I really don´t!
Tiffany (ignoring the cat): I´m going to play with you next!
Pen (annoyed): Ah crap!

Tiffany takes the Pen with her and leaves the room.

Francis sys in relief, that Tiffany has found something else to play with.

Moments later.

Francis is in his bed, still multicolored.

The Pen comes along.

Pen: I guess the saying is true.
Cat: I know I´m going to regret this but, who says what now?
Pen: Misery loves company.

Francis looks at the Pen and smiles.

Cat: Love you too Candy!
Pen: Shut up Francesca
Cat: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Pen: useless cat!

The end!

2017_ Joana Teixeira

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