The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 81

Francis, the cat was lying on the floor, belly up, staring the ceiling. He was bored out of his mind.

The Pen comes along.

Pen: Hey useless ball of fur.

Francis stays put, still belly up, and looks right at the Pen.

Cat (a little too excited): Hey there Pen, how are you?
Pen: Fine.

Francis turns to the side and gets straight.

Cat: Just fine? Nothing big happened?
Pen (highly suspicious): No…
Cat: you sure?

Pen: yes…
Cat (sighs in annoyance): crap!
Pen: what´s the matter with you?

Cat: Can´t you tell?
Pen: tell what?
Cat: I´m bored out of my mind!

Pen: okay, so what?
Cat: Tell me a story!
Pen: A story? About what?

Cat: I don´t care, anything.
Pen: Are you sure you´re okay? You´re acting kind of weird.
Cat: I don´t know what you´re talking about.

Francis gets up and starts to walk away. The Pen “follows” him.

Pen: Francis? What are you hiding?
Cat: Nothing…
Pen: Francis?

Cat: Fine!
Pen (anxious): well?
Cat: I´m bored.
Pen: You already said that!

Cat: well, it´s true.
Pen: why?
Cat: all my friends are out of town and Amelia has gone away with Missy and Jason won´t take me anywhere.

Pen: Wow! You sound like an old married wife whose husband doesn´t pay enough attention to.

Cat: what are you talking about?
Pen: Francis, you´ve got nothing to do!
Cat (sarcastic): Did you just arrive at that conclusion now? What gave it away?
Pen: Your excitement when you saw me.

Cat: That wasn´t excitement, it was boredom!
Pen: Go out, see the birds, chase some… Oh well, forget about that.
Cat: Why?
Pen: You´re a useless cat, you befriend birds, you don´t chase them.

Cat: you say it like it’s a bad thing.
Pen: Your ancestors would be very disappointed.
Cat: yeah, well, they can go suck an onion for all I care.

Pen: don´t you have anything to do?
Cat: like what?
Pen: Well, Amelia may be out o town but you can always go out and meet another female cat.
Cat: You´re desperate to attend my funeral aren´t you?

Pen (grinning): yes!
Cat: You´re so mean, and here I thought we could be friends.
Pen: You are crazy like that.
Cat: You´re the one who´s crazy!

Pen: Cat?
Cat: what?
Pen: you´re talking to a pen!
Cat: So? You´re talking to a cat! Does that make you crazy?

Pen: you´re seriously asking me that question?
Cat: yes.
Pen: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Cat: what´s so funny?

Pen: You mean other than you?
Cat: Why do I even bother?
Pen: Because you´re a crazy cat!

Francis drops to the floor, gets belly up once again and starts singing.

Cat: I´m so bored! I´m so bored! I´m so bored!
Pen: You sound like a crazy drunk! Oh I forgot, my mistake…
Cat: what?
Pen: You are a crazy drunk!

Cat: Have I told you…
Pen: You love me?
Cat: No! That I…
Pen: Adore me?

Cat: Shut up!
Pen: you shut up! You…
Cat: zzzz….

Pen: Francis?

Nothing. Francis has fallen asleep leaving the Pen mocking air.

Pen: Stupid cat!
Cat (slurring): you shut up…
Pen: Drunken ball of fur!
Cat (sleeping): I´m so bored…

The end!

2017_Joana Teixeira

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