The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 80

The Pen comes along and finds Francis, the cat, spread out by the kitchen window, basking in the afternoon sunlight.

Cat: Hey there Pen!
Pen: What, no Miss this time?
Cat: Miss?

Pen: yes, Miss Pen!
Cat: why would I call you Miss? Did you win a pageant or something?
Pen: Maybe…

Cat: Let me guess, “Most annoying Pen in the universe”?
Pen: You´re hilarious!

Cat: I know, right?
Pen: No!
Cat: No what?

Pen: You´re not the least bit funny!
Cat: Of course I am.
Pen: You´re really not.

Cat: says who?
Pen: Me.
Cat: You´re a pen, what do you know?
Pen: I´m your one and only fan.

Cat: You mean stalker.
Pen: same thing.
Cat: No it´s not!

Pen: Anyways, what do you want? No flies to chase? No butts to smell?
Cat: Butts to smell? I think you´re confusing me with someone else.
Pen: Are you sure, because…
Cat (interrupting): I´m sure! Cats’ don´t smell butts!

Pen: what about flies?
Cat: It depends on the day.
Pen: Ha!

Cat: Ha what?
Pen: you like to chase flies.
Cat: No I don´t.

Pen: Any who, what´re you up to?
Cat: Nothing.
Pen: yes, but of course. The Francis original operating mode, useless.

Cat: you´re the one who´s useless!
Pen: I exist for a purpose.
Cat: we´ve covered this before, nagging and obnoxious aren´t purposes, they´re faults.

Pen: says you!
Cat: yes, I do.
Pen: do what?

Cat: what?
Pen: you´re a useless ball of fur!
Cat: and you´re a freakish pen who was probably discarded out of the box.

Pen: wrecked cat, do you even know what the words coming out of your mouth mean?
Cat: which ones?
Pen: to be completely honest, all of them!

Cat: Have I told you…
Pen (interrupting): You love me?
Cat: No.

Pen: You adore me?
Cat (getting upset): NO! That´s…
Pen: want to marry me?

Cat: No! Agh…
Pen: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Cat: you enjoy this way too much!
Pen: which part?

Cat: All of it!
Pen: all of what?
Cat: You´re trying to upset me again, aren´t you?
Pen (smiling): yes, is it working?

Cat: No.
Pen (loses its grin): what?
Cat: I love you too Miss Pen.
Pen: Hellish cat…!

Francis turns his back to the Pen and starts to walk away.

Cat: who knows, maybe one day, we´ll get married.
Pen: what the freck?

From a distance

Cat: HA! HA! HA!

The Pen is left alone, seriously pissed.

The end!

2017_Joana Teixeira

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