The Possessed pen!_side story 1

Jason arrives at his workplace.

He opens his briefcase and takes out a couple of folders, his glasses and a pen. The Pen.

He leaves his office and goes to a business meeting.

Petey, the head-security´s dog, enters the room and goes straight for the plant next to the window.

As he lifts his leg, about to pee on the plant…

Pen: I wouldn´t do that if I were you.
Petey: who said that?
Pen: I did.

Petey: God, is that you?
Pen: yes my child. It is I, the mighty God and I am telling not to pee on that plant!
Petey: Has anyone ever told you, you have kind of a girly voice?

Pen: I do not!
Petey: yeah, you kind of do. So, where are you hiding?
Pen: I´m not hiding, I´m right here.

Petey: Here where?
Pen: Right here on the desk!

Petey looks at the desk but doesn´t see anyone.

Petey: why are you hiding under the desk?
Pen: I´m not hiding. I´m right here.
Petey: are you invisible or something?

Pen: are you blind?
Petey: No… maybe. I don´t know. All I know is that I can hear you but I can´t see you.
Pen: Look at the desk.
Petey: I´m looking.

Pen: what do you see?
Petey: Books, papers, a computer, an odd looking Pen…
Pen: you´re the one who´s odd!
Petey: Ha! I got it!

Pen: About time!
Petey: you´re on the phone!
Pen: No!
Petey: the computer?

Pen: No.
Petey: cell phone?
Pen: Oh good lord! No! Right here! The Pen.

Petey: what about the pen?
Pen: I´m Pen.
Petey: your name is Pen?
Pen: yes.

Petey: Is that short for Penny?
Pen: No.
Petey: Penelope?
Pen: Agh! No!

Petey: I don´t understand.
Pen: Don´t understand what?
Petey: you´re an invisible creature named Pen. Are you some kind of lost soul? Do you have some unfinished business here?

Pen: Oh for heaven´s sake!
Petey: what? Did I say something wrong?
Pen: See the Pen on the desk.

Petey jumps on the chair near the desk and looks straight at the Pen.

Pen: Hi!
Petey: Ahhh!

Petey, the dog falls backwards and of the chair landing on his face on the floor.

Petey: what the…?
Pen: hello!

Petey jumps on the chair once more and looks straight at the Pen.

Petey: what are you?
Pen: a Pen…
Petey: I can see that you´re a pen!
Pen: then… why did you ask?

Petey: am I hallucinating?
Pen (under its “breath”): probably.
Petey: you´re a Pen!
Pen: yes.

Petey: and you´re alive!
Pen: Alive, no. Possessed!
Petey: possessed by what?
Pen: It depends on the day.

Petey: why are you here?
Pen: Jason brought me.
Petey: why?
Pen: I´m a Pen. He needed a pen.

Petey: does he know?
Pen: know what?
Petey: that you´re possessed.
Pen: no.

Petey: so when he leaves, he´s going to take you with him, right?
Pen: Most likely, yes.
Petey: oh thank God!

Pen: why?
Petey: No reason, no reason what so ever.

Petey starts to walk backwards, forgetting he´s on a chair. He falls to the floor, again.

Petey: oh…

Pen: are you okay?
Petey: yeah, I´m good. Look it was nice meeting you and all but ah… I have to go.

Pen: Petey?
Petey: how do you know my name?
Pen: I know everything.
Petey: everything?

Pen: everything!
Petey: okay. Good to know. I have to go.
Pen: are you going to leave me here all alone?
Petey: Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. Official dog police business.

Petey keeps walking backwards.

Pen: Petey?
Petey: yes?
Pen: BOO!
Petey (screaming): Ah!

Petey runs out of the room.

Pen: HA! HA! HA! That was fun! Francis has been such a bore lately. I don´t even bother him anymore.

Petey comes back and jumps on the chair and then on the table.

Pen: what´re you doing?
Petey: It´s okay. I got you.

Petey walks over to the pen, lifts his leg and starts to pee on it.

Pen (screaming): You stupid mutt! What the hell! Why did you just do that?
Petey: holy water. Now rest in peace you… you demonic soul!
Pen: what the freck? Holy water?

Petey: yeah. I went next door, to Mary´s office. She always has a flask with holy water on her. Tastes good, I had gone there earlier and drank some. Went there again and drank some more. And now you´ve been cleansed. You´re exorcised. You may rest in peace.

Pen: You ret…

Jason comes into the room.

Jason: what the hell Petey?
Petey: Oh Mr. Jason I was just…
Jason: did you just pee on my desk?
Petey:  It appears so. I can explain. You´ll thank me latter.

Jason: you dam dog!
Petey: Oh dear! Time to go!

Petey runs out of the room before Jason has the chance to catch him.

Jason: what is it with animals and this pen?
Pen: rot in hell, you stupid mutt!

Jason nears his desk and finds the pen on his desk, covered in pee.

Jason: Ah hell!

Jason grabs some tissues and picks up the pen.

Jason: maybe it smells like Francis.

He sys in annoyance.

Jason (cont.): if you weren´t Francis favorite toy, I´d toss you.

The end!

2017_Joana Teixeira


One thought on “The Possessed pen!_side story 1

  1. This was freaking hilarious! It is so well written that I could easily visualize the action, and the dialogue as the pen attempts to reveal themselves gave me a much needed laugh. Now, I’ll need to read some of your other episodes 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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