The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 67

Jason and Missy arrived home after taking Francis out.

They enter the kitchen and Jason sets Francis´s carrier on the kitchen counter.

Missy (excited): Jason, he was so cute!
Jason: He was something…
Missy: Oh come on Jason… He looks adorable.

Jason: I agree, doesn´t mean he was happy about it.

Missy goes over to the counter and peeks inside the carrier.

She can´t see Francis properly as he´s recoiled in the back of the carrier.

Missy opens the door.

Missy: Come out Francis.
Cat (hisses): F*** You!

Missy: come on Francis, you look absolutely adorable.
Cat: I´m calling animal protective services on you!

Jason: Francis, come out NOW!
Cat: NO!

Jason reaches inside and tries to drag his cat out of the carrier.


Jason (screaming): Ouch!

He takes his hand out, bleeding.

Jason: God dam it Francis!
Cat: Payback is a bitch!

Missy: Oh my God, Jason are you okay?
Jason: yeah, it’s just a little bruised.

Missy: I can´t believe he bit you.
Jason: I told you he was pissed. Honey, I love you but, next time I tell you to not dress up my cat, please don´t do it anyways.

Missy: I´m sorry. He just looked so cute.
Jason:  yeah, well, he doesn´t seem to think so.

Missy reaches inside her purse and takes out an envelope and hands it to Jason.

He opens it and takes out some pictures.

Jason (going through the pictures): He does look adorably cute.
Cat (from inside the carrier): of course I look adorable, I´m the amazing and wonderful Francis.

Jason and Missy look at the carrier after hearing Francis mumble something.

Jason (mocking): If you want to see these pictures you need to come out.
Cat: I´m going to pee in your bed as soon as I get the chance.

Jason peeks inside the carrier and dangles the pictures in front of Francis.

Jason: want to see how adorable you look?
Cat: If I look like a circus freak, I´m going to bite you, again!

Francis takes his time exiting the carrier.

On his head he has a head piece with two antlers.

As Francis exits the carrier Jason can barely keep it together as he´s about to burst out laughing.

Missy rushes to cover his mouth to prevent him from exploding with laughter.

Jason: He looks like…
Missy: start laughing and then complain when he pees on your bed again as payback.

Jason smile fades.

They both look at Francis.

Francis is sat down on the counter staring at them, pissed.

He has a set of antlers on his head and a bumble bee outfit on.

Yellow and black stripes neck down.

He´s angrier than ever.

Missy looks at the crazy cat, proud.

Jason has to cover his mouth with both hands to prevent his laughter.

Missy: Francis, you look adorable.
Cat: I´m aware I´m adorable but you always manage to ruin that when you put these ridiculous outfits on me.

Francis then looks at Jason who appears to be entertained sorting through the pictures.

Jason: Okay, I know you´re mad at me right now, but I swear to you, you look very cute. Missy dear, come on, we have to go.

Missy: yeah I know. Let´s go. Bye Francis.
Cat: wait, where are you two going? Are you going to leave me like this?

Jason: Bye pussy cat!
Cat: Jason! This isn´t funny! Get back here! Get this thing off of me, now!

Jason and Missy leave.

Francis hears the door close.

Cat: ha, ha… very funny.


Cat: Get back here!

He runs to the door.

Cat: Mother*****!

He turns around.

Cat: I can´t believe he just left me like this. I look like an idiot.

Francis walks back to the kitchen.

He spots a bottle of magic milk on the counter.

He nods.

Cat: yes. Going to drown my sorrows! I´m going to bite your ass. Count on it.

Francis jumps on the counter and walks to the bottle. He knocks the bottle down. With his claws he rips out the cork.

His wonderful nectar flows out.

Cat: Bottoms up!

Moments latter

Drunk of his ass, Francis gets up and walks away.

He finds a mirror and stops looking at himself.

Cat: I can´t believe he did this to me.
Pen: did what?
Cat (screaming): Ah!

Pen: Hey there… I´m sorry, what are you supposed to be exactly? A butterfly? No… um…
Cat (interrupting): A bumble bee! I´m a bee!
Pen: I thought you were a cat.

Cat: I am a cat, stupid!
Pen: are you having a mid life crisis?
Cat: what?
Pen: You´re an animal dressed like another animal.

Cat: I hate my life.
Pen: why?
Cat: why do I hate my life?

Pen: No. That I know. You´re crazy. What are you doing dressed as a bee?
Cat: Missy.
Pen: why?
Cat: because she hates me.

Pen: what did you do?
Cat: I didn´t do anything. I´m delightful.

Francis notices that the Pen is otherwise distracted.

Cat: Pen!
Pen: I was just thinking… Ha, Ha, Ha!
Cat: Pen from hell, why are you laughing?
Pen: Please tell me there are pictures.

Cat: Unfortunately. What does that have to do…?
Pen (interrupting):  Missy ´s probably going to show those pictures around.
Cat: so?
Pen (grinning): To Amelia!

Francis opens his eyes wide as realization strikes.

Cat: oh no!
Pen: oh yes!

Francis turns around to walk away.

Pen: where are you going?
Cat: Backyard.
Pen: why?

Francis looks back.

Cat: so I can ruin this stupid outfit and make sure Jason will never consider putting this kind of thing on me ever again.

Pen: Really think that will work?
Cat: Then I´m going to get on his bed and mess it up, badly!
Pen: yeah, that´ll work.

Cat: see you later pen.
Pen: Good luck, you´re going to need it.

Francis leaves.

Pen (mumbling): That will also grant you a really cold bath. But oh well… Ha, Ha, Ha!

The end!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

2017_Joana Teixeira


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