The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 65

Raul, the rat, is on his way home, in Francis´s backyard, when he´s cut off by two large male cats.

Cat#1: Well, well… Look what the cat dragged in.
Cat#2: What cat?
Cat# 1: Seriously?

Cat#2: You said: “What the cat dragged in”. And I didn´t drag anything, did you?
Cat#1: You really are stupid.
Cat#2: You are so mean!

Raul takes the opportunity to turn away and try to walk in the opposite direction.

Cat#1: Not so fast mighty mouse!
Raul: Oh, Hello.
Cat#2: Hello? This dude is wacked.

Cat#1: You´re the one who´s wacked, you idiot!
Raul: Can I help you cats with anything?
Cat#1: You´re a rat.

Raul: Yes, I´m aware.
Cat#1: and we´re cats.
Raul: I´ve noticed.
Cat#2: You´re lunch!

Raul takes a couple of steps back, fearful.

Cat#1: No, you idiot! (to Raul) I apologize. You see, he got dropped on his head as a baby.
Cat#2: No I wasn´t.
Cat#1: Yes, you were. You just don´t remember it.

Cat#2: Really?
Cat#1: yes, really.

Raul keeps walking backwards.

Rafael shows up and lands on a branch from a nearby tree. He spots Raul and his feline companions.

Rafael: Oh no! This is bad!

He flies off again.

At home:

Francis is “face to face” with the pen.

Francis: You really are from hell!
Pen: Ha! Takes one to know one!
Francis: Oh for heaven´s sake! What does that even mean?
Pen: Seriously, you´re that stupid?

Knock, knock, knock…

Francis looks up to find Rafael knocking on the window.

Francis: to be continued!
Pen: yeah, yeah!

Francis jumps on the window to meet Rafael.

Rafael: Oh thank god you´re home!
Francis: What´s going on?
Rafael: It´s Raul, he´s in trouble.
Francis: What kind of trouble?

Rafael: Out back. He was on his way home when two cats intercepted him.
Francis: So?
Rafael: So they want to eat him! What did you think? That they wanted to invite him for tea and cookies?

Francis: How should I know?
Rafael: Are you going to help him or what?
Francis: yes, of course. Let´s go.

Out back:

Cat#2: Shouldn´t we try and cook him first?
Cat#1: what?
Cat#2: Plus, all that fur, it´s going to get stuck in my throat. And then it will be a bitch to get it out. Then I start to sneeze… It’s horrific!

Cat#1: Oh for heaven´s sake. Shut up!
Cat#2: You are so mean to me!
Cat#1 (to Raul): do you see what I have to put up with?

Cat#2: What you have to put up with? I put up with your snoring, your farting and you hog the covers!

Raul (dumbstruck, whispering): Okay…

Before Cat#1 can come up with a comeback, Francis shows up.

Francis: It just had to be you two idiots!
Cat#1: what did you just call us?

Francis (ignoring the cats): Raul, are you okay?
Raul: Yeah, I think so. These two, not so sure.

Francis: what do you mean?
Raul: I believe they might need some marriage counseling.

Francis looks at Raul like he´s speaking a foreign language or something. He then raises his eyebrows and looks at the two cats, questioning.

Francis: Marriage…? These two? (looks at Raul) They´re…  What?

Raul just shrugs and nods.

Cat#2: What do you want fur ball?
Francis: I´m sorry, what?
Cat#1: He asked you, what do you want?

Francis: Okay… Let me get this straight, no pun intended…

Raul just gives Francis an inquisitive look.

Francis (cont.): You´re male?
Cat#1: Of course I´m male. Are you crazy?
Francis (to cat#2): And you´re male as well, right?
Cat#2: what´s your point?

Francis: And you´re married?
Cat#1: of course we´re not married, are you crazy?

Cat#2 looks heartbroken and just stares at Cat#1 with tears in his eyes.

Cat#2: You are mean and a bully! I want a divorce!

He runs off.

Cat#1: Oh for heaven´s sake, Louie come back!
Cat#2 (yelling): I told you, my name is Layla!

Cat#1 chases after cat#2 (or Layla).

Francis can´t take it anymore and bursts out laughing.

Francis: HA! HA! HA! I definitely did not see that coming! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Raul: Believe me, neither did I.

Rafael lands near them.

Rafael: What´re you two knuckleheads laughing about? What happened with those cats? Where did they go?

Raul: A lovers’ quarrel.
Rafael: A what?
Raul: Thank you Francis for coming to help me.

Francis: No problem. Ha, ha, ha! I need to get back. Are you going to be okay?
Raul: Yeah, I´m good. Thank you.

Rafael: Seriously? None of you are going to tell me what just happened?

Francis and Raul leave.

Rafael stays there, talking to himself.

Rafael: Yeah, no need to thank me or anything…

Raul turns back.

Raul: Rafael?
Rafael: yeah?
Raul: Thank you.
Rafael (smiling): You´re welcome.

Rafael flies away to his tree.

Francis and Raul go home as well.

The end!

2016_Joana Teixeira


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