Francis, the cat, is about to doze off when the Pen “comes rushing” screaming his name.
Pen: Francis! Francis! Francis!
The cat wakes up with a jolt.
Cat: What? What? What?
Pen: You have to help me!
Cat: Is that crazy bird chasing you again?
Cat: Then what is it?
Pen: It’s Jason!
Cat: What about Jason?
Pen: Kitty, Jason got a new pen!
Pen: So? Don´t you see what this means?
Cat: It means Jason has a new pen.
Cat: Is it from hell like you?
Pen: don´t be ridiculous. I´m the one and only, amazing pen.
Cat: So what´s the problem?
Francis notices the pen is panicking.
He raises an eyebrow and shines a deviant smile.
Cat: Are you jealous of the new pen?
Pen: don´t be ridiculous!
Cat: You´re the one who´s being ridiculous. You´re jealous of a pen.
Pen: I´m a pen!
Cat: I can see that. What I don´t get is why you´re panicking.
Pen: What if he throws me away?
Cat (mocking): I´ll throw you a goodbye party.
Pen: You are so insensitive!
Cat: You have spent your albeit short life, mocking me and enjoying it.
Pen: You have to help me!
Cat: with what?
Pen: Let’s kidnap it.
Cat: Kidnap what?
Pen: The new pen!
Cat: You´re crazy!
Pen: I thought you were my friend.
Cat: I´m only your friend when you need something.
Pen: Kitty I´m asking you for help. Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?
Cat: Face it pen. No one wants an old pen like you. Time to upgrade.
Pen: Let’s see if you´re all smiles and jokes if Jason decides to “upgrade” his cat by getting a new one.
Cat: Oh please! I´m his amazing and adorable cat. He loves me like a child.
Pen: You´re a drunken ball of fur that hallucinates a nemesis!
Cat: I have no idea what the words you just said even mean.
Pen: I know!
Jason comes along.
Jason looks at his cat and then grabs the pen that’s on the floor.
Jason: What is it with you and this pen?
Cat: I have no idea what it is you are talking about.
Pen: Francis help me!
Cat: Goodbye Miss Pen! Hope to never see you again!
Jason takes the pen with him and leaves Francis alone in the room.
Cat: Finally, silence.
As Francis, the cat is about to fall asleep again.
Jason comes back into the room.
Jason: Francis wake up.
Cat (without opening his eyes): Why?
Jason: I have something for you.
The cat immediately stands up excited.
Cat: What is it? Is it a treat? Or maybe a new toy?
Jason: I see you walking around with it so much. I found it weird at first, but whatever. If you like it so much, I´ll give it to you.
Cat: what is it?
Jason shows him the pen.
The smile on the cat fades.
Cat: Say what now?
Jason: It seems you really like this old pen. So here I´ll give it to you.
Cat: Is this a joke? What the hell do I want with a pen? Especially THAT pen!
Jason drops the pen on the floor, by Francis´s paws.
Cat: what the hell am I supposed to do with this?
Jason: I have to go out now. I´ll see you later Francis.
Cat: stupid human, come back here!
Francis chases Jason for a while but the doubles back to his resting place.
There is the Pen.
Pen: hello there kitty.
Cat: Oh lord!
Pen: So it appears Jason´s not getting rid of me.
Cat: No. He gave you to me!
Pen: Yes, yes. So what are we going to do now?
Cat: excuse me?
Pen: You see kitty, now the two of us can live happily ever after together.
Cat: Oh hell no!
Pen: why not?
Cat: Because we hate each other.
Pen: We love each other.
Cat: You mock me constantly.
Francis sys and nears the pen.
Pen: What are you doing?
Cat: You see pen, Jason gave you to me. So You´re mine to do whatever I want.
Pen: What exactly are you thinking?
Francis smiles defiantly.
Pen: Oh no! Francis? Stay! Sit, roll over!
Francis takes the pen into his mouth and takes it outside.
Pen (screaming): Francis! I hate you, you stupid mutt!
Jason comes back and walks to where Francis is, finally asleep.
Jason (shaking the cat): Francis wake up.
Cat (groggy): What?
Jason: I gave this to you. I thought you liked it. And then you go and bury it in the garden.
Francis opens one eye.
Cat: You found what?
Jason: Here is your beloved pen. But don´t you dare bury it again. If you do that I´ll take it away from you. No matter how much you beg for it back.
Cat: No way!
Francis stands up and yawns.
Pen: Hey there stupid!
Cat: You truly are from hell. Like a vampire, you just keep on coming back.
Pen: Ha! Ha! Ha!