The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 47

Francis, the cat, just came home from playing outside.

He has mud all over him and his fur is a mess.

Exhausted and drained from his very well spent afternoon he goes straight for his bed.

On his way to his corner of the house, Francis spots the magical bottle that he loves so much containing his favorite nectar.

He makes a small detour and jumps on the counter.

With his paw he gently tops the bottle over and rips out the cork.

Latter…

With his thirst sated, Francis resumes his path to his bed, still covered in mud.

The Pen meets him halfway.

Pen: are you masquerading as the creature from the black lagoon?
Cat (clueless): What?
Pen: You´re covered in mud.

Cat: I know.
Pen: So you actually did that on purpose?
Cat: Of course!
Pen: Why?

Before Francis can answer.

Pen (cont.): Wait… I know this one. ´Cause you´re stupid!
Cat: You´re the one who´s stupid, useless stick!
Pen: Then… What´s with the crap bath?

Cat: This isn´t crap, it´s mud.
Pen: Same thing.
Cat: No, it´s not!
Pen: No? Then tell me Einstein, what´s the difference?

Cat: I heard Missy telling Jason that she had had a mud bath and that it had been exquisite for her skin. Her skin was smooth and glowing.

Pen: Glowing like a diamond?
Cat: No stupid. Rejuvenated!
Pen: Do you even know what the words coming out of your mouth mean?
Cat: Just forget it! You´re a stick…

Pen: And you´re one smelly cat.
Cat: I don´t smell!
Pen: Oh but you do.

The cat smells himself.

Cat (disgusted): Okay, so maybe I smell a little but it doesn’t matter.
Pen: You smell like crap!
Cat: Once I take this off, my fur will be smooth and beautiful.
Pen: And how exactly are you planning on doing that?

Cat: doing what?
Pen: Getting rid of the mud. Are you going to lick it off? I mean, I know cats like to groom themselves but…

Cat: Shit! I didn´t think of that!
Pen: Bath it is.
Cat: No! No, I don´t like water.

Pen: Kitty, if you´re not going to take it of yourself and you don´t want to take a bath how do you expect all that mud to come off?

Cat: won´t it dry of and fall?
Pen: No.
Cat: You sure about that?
Pen: yes.
Cat: Crap!

Jason comes into the room and spots Francis covered in mud.

Jason: Francis! What the hell?
Cat: There you are! Yes, it seems I might need your help human.
Jason: You´re going straight to the bathtub!
Cat: No, not that!

Jason: Don´t bitch, you stinky cat!
Cat: Who´s bitching? And I´m not stinky!

Francis smells himself.

Cat: Okay. So you might be right about the smell…

Jason takes Francis to the bathroom.

The Pen stays outside the bathroom listening to what is happening inside.

Cat (v.o.): Miau! Useless human, that water´s cold!
Jason (v.o.): Oh shut up!
Cat (v.o.): I hate you!

Outside the Pen is listening in.

Pen: Ha, ha, ha! Smelly cat!

The end!

2016_JoanaTeixeira

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s