The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 45

Francis, the cat, is in his bed about to fall asleep.

He´s all comfy and his eyes are incredibly heavy.

Suddenly the Pen comes along.

Pen (screaming): Francis help!

Francis jolts awake.

Cat: What? What´s going on?
Pen: Look at me!
Cat: I am looking at you, even though I pray you’re just a nightmare…

Pen: Stupid cat, this isn´t the time for mockery!
Cat: Funny… With you it seems it’s always time. When it’s for you to mock me anyways.
Pen: You´re missing the point! Look at me!

The cat looks intently at the Pen and then suddenly he breaks out laughing.

Cat: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Pen: This isn´t funny!
Cat: I think it depends on the point of view, and way I see it, it’s hilarious.

Pen: Stupid cat, look at me!
Cat: I am, hence the laughter.
Pen: Francis, this isn´t funny!
Cat: I disagree.

Pen: will you help me?
Cat: With what? I think you look nice.
Pen: Nice? Wrecked cat from hell, this is torture.

Cat: Ha, ha, ha… Serves you right!
Pen: What?
Cat: Well, you´re always mocking me and now, now you look like that!
Pen: I´m going to drop all of this ink on your head!

Cat: No, you´re not!
Pen: oh no?
Cat: No, because if you could rid yourself of that ink somehow, you would have done so before coming here to nag me!

Pen (“thinks”): True. So… are you going to help or not?
Cat: And how exactly do you suggest I do that?
Pen: I don´t know!
Cat: how did you end up like this?

Pen: Missy!
Cat: Oh heck! Ha, ha, ha…

Pen: Stupid cat, you´re enjoying this a little too much.
Cat: Oh you bet I am!
Pen: Are you going to help or not?
Cat: How?

Cat: I hereby name you Candy.
Pen: What? That´s not my name!
Cat: It is now.

Pen: No, it´s not!
Cat: You never told me your name, and now I know why.
Pen: No you don´t!
Cat: Yes, I do. So unless you tell me your name…

No answer.

Cat (cont.): I hereby name you Candy! Ha, ha, ha!
Pen: That´s a hooker´s name!
Cat: Ha, ha, ha! I know!

Pen: I hate you! I came here to ask you for your help and this is what you do.
Cat: were you seriously expecting something else?
Pen: yes, I was!
Cat: No you weren´t. You came here thinking you´d wake me up, mock me for a while and then drop that hideous ink on my head.

Pen (looking away): No I wasn´t…
Cat: Well Candy, I think you look nice.
Pen (angry): That´s not my name!

Cat: it is now.
Pen: I hate you!
Cat: I think that color suits you.
Pen: Shut up!
Cat: It brings out your eyes!

Francis breaks out laughing hysterically.

Pen: Cat, know this: Payback is a bitch!
Cat: oh I believe you. And apparently it’s pink too!
Pen: what?
Cat: she loaded you up with sparkly pink ink! Ha, ha, ha…

Pen: I hate you!
Cat: love you too, Candy!
Pen: Shut up!

The Pen disappears, leaving Francis the cat, laughing like a maniac.

Cat: Oh God, my tummy hurts… Ha, ha, ha… Serves you right, Pen from hell.

The end…

Ha, ha, ha…

2016_Joana Teixeira


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