The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 44

Francis, the cat, enters the kitchen in his house only to find the Pen on the counter.
He sees the Pen and watches “it” intently, without making a sound.

Pen: Hi there kitty cat!
Cat: How did you know I was here?
Pen: You´re not exactly stealthy!

Cat: I didn´t make any noise.
Pen: I know.
Cat: Then how did you know?

Pen: My kitty senses were tingling.
Cat: You´re a pen. You don´t have any senses.
Pen: Sure I do.
Cat: How?

Pen: I was a cat in a previous life!
Cat: And you came back as a pen? Well, that sucks!
Pen: Sucks for you!
Cat: How so?

Pen: I nag you don´t I?
Cat: Very much so, yes.
Pen: well, there you have it!
Cat: Have what?

Pen: You see, from our very first encounter, I felt like it was my lifelong mission to nag the hell out of you.

Cat: What did I ever do to you?
Pen: Only you can answer that.
Cat: How?

Pen: remember anyone you did wrong by in the past or someone who held a grudge against you for some reason?

Cat: No. I don´t think so.
Pen: Kitty, think long and hard, because until you apologize to that someone, you´ll have to deal with me.

Cat: So, basically, you´re saying that unless I apologize for something I have no memory of doing to someone I have no idea who it might be, alive or dead, I´ll have to put up with your nagging?

Pen: Yes, that´s exactly right!
Cat: Okay.
Pen: Okay, what?
Cat: If it means getting rid of you for good, I´ll apologize.

Pen: you will?
Cat: yes.
Pen: Okay then.
Cat: Okay.

Awkward silence.

Cat: I´m sorry!
Pen: for what?
Cat: Don´t know, don´t care. I´m a thousand times sorry. There I said it.

Pen: Said what?
Cat: I said I´m sorry!
Pen: Indeed you did.
Cat: Now go away.

Pen: why?
Cat: You said that if I apologized, you´d go away. I apologized, so leave. Bye, Arriverdecci!

Pen: But you don´t know what it was that you did wrong or who you did it to.
Cat: Doesn’t matter. I apologized, so now leave. I hereby exorcise you of you demon, pen.
Pen: Really?

The cat turns his back on the pen to leave.

Pen: Hey!
Cat: What? I tried, didn´t work. You´re still here!
Pen: But…
Cat: No buts. I said I´m sorry. You didn´t keep your end of the deal, so I´m leaving.

Pen: Wouldn´t you miss me?
Cat: No!
Pen: Liar!
Cat: I´m not lying. You on the other hand are a big fat liar!

Pen: Why?
Cat: you said that if I apologized, you´d go away. I apologized, you´re still here.
Pen: maybe you didn´t mean it.
Cat: Oh, I meant it!

Pen: Crazy cat, you don´t even know what it is you´re apologizing for. How could you mean something you don´t feel.

Cat: Trust me, I feel it!
Pen: Oh yeah?
Cat: Yeah! My desire to get rid of you is bigger than anything else. So believe me when I say, I mean it. I´m sorry! Now go away!

Francis turns away from the Pen once more while “she” rants.

Pen: Francis, there will come a day when you´ll…

The cat turns back to the Pen.

Cat: When I´ll what?

The Pen is gone.

Cat: Pen? Hello? Are you really gone?

Francis walks around for a bit, looking for the Pen. Nowhere in sight.

Cat: Yes! Finally! Goodbye and hope to never see you again.

He turns back to the door to find a “figure” starring at him.

Francis screams, jumps high into the air and slams back onto the floor face down.

He raises his head to find the Pen looking down at him.

Cat: I thought you had left.
Pen: Had to use the bathroom. I´m sorry, were you saying something?
Cat: I hate you!
Pen: Love you too, stink ass!

The end!


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