The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 40

Previously on the Drunken Cat and the Possessed Pen:

Bianca: Tell me Francis, do you have a girlfriend?
Cat: As a matter of fact, yes, I do.

Bianca: Maybe you and I could have some fun together.


Even though Francis, the cat, tried to ditch Bianca, the female kitten wasn´t going anywhere anytime soon.

Francis was standing in a corner trying to hide from the new female guest in his house when the mighty Pen decided to make an appearance.

Pen: Hey there kitty cat!
Cat (ignoring “it”): Hi.

Pen: What´s going on? Are you hiding from Jason again? What did you do this time?
Cat: Nothing, and I´m not hiding from Jason.
Pen: Amelia?
Pen: No, Bianca!

Pen: Who´s Bianca?
Cat: Jason´s sister´s cat.
Pen: What is she doing here?
Cat: Have me killed!
Pen: What?

The doorbell rings and Francis hears Missy´s voice.

Missy came by to meet Jason and surprise, surprise, she brought along Amelia with her.

Cat: Today is the day!
Pen: Indeed, today is definitely the day.
Cat: wish me luck…
Pen: Good luck kitty. You´re going to need it!

Francis runs off to where he heard the humans talking only to find a female cat standoff.

Cat: Oh boy!

Amelia: Who the hell are you?
Bianca: Who the hell are you?
Amelia: I asked you first!

Bianca: I´m Bianca!
Amelia: Amelia!
Bianca: Ha! Amelia is a grandma´s name!
Amelia (seeing red): why you…

Francis notices the rise in tension and decides, against his better judgment, to step in between the two before disaster strikes.

Cat: Hello Amelia!
Bianca (excited): there you are!

Amelia gives the other female cat a death glare. Bianca looks on unfazed.

Amelia: anything you´d like to share with me, Francis? Who´s this rat of a cat?

Before Francis has the chance to answer her question, Bianca decides to defy Amelia once more.

Bianca: I´m his fiancée!

Francis feels himself go ice cold from head to “paws” as he looks at Amelia and see her murderous intent.

Cat (to Bianca): No, you´re not!

He nears Amelia fearfully.

Cat: Amelia, dear… Don´t listen to her. She´s just a kid! I met her like, five minutes ago!

Amelia steps in between the two (Bianca and Francis) and turns her back to Bianca, facing Francis head on.

She looks at one, and then the other.

Francis´s adoring look to her tells her he´s telling the truth.

She smiles defiantly and looks back at Bianca.

Amelia: Of course not! You´re mine!

Amelia is ready for war if need be.

From a “safe” distance, the Pen is watching by.

Pen: From no girlfriend to two! Way to go “player”! Ha, ha, ha!

Francis steps away from the two fierce females as he sees the Pen.

Cat: Thank god you´re here!
Pen: What are you going to do?
Cat: How the hell should I know!
Pen: I wonder who´ll do it…
Cat: Do what?
Pen: Kill you!

Cat: why would they kill me?
Pen: well, Bianca wants you for herself.

Cat: she´s crazy!
Pen: Amelia doesn´t really like you but I´m guessing she hates to lose.  And she already hates Bianca.

Cat: get to the point!
Pen: you can´t have them both.
Cat (wondering): why not?
Pen: You´d like that wouldn´t you?

Cat: Maybe…
Pen: Amelia would kill you.
Cat: You´re right.
Pen: And Bianca IS crazy!
Cat: you´re right again.

Both Amelia and Bianca go to Francis

Bianca: Francis, we´ve talked and we agreed that you´re the only one that can settle this.
Cat: settle what?
Bianca: Choose!

Before Francis has the chance to utter a word, Amelia steps in.

Amelia: Of course he´s going to choose me!
Bianca: Don´t be ridiculous. He´s going to choose me. He doesn’t want an old hag.

Francis looks at the Pen in despair.

Amelia: What did you just call me?
Cat (steps in): Ladies!

Amelia: Francis, make a choice!
Cat: Can I have some time to think about it?
Amelia: what is there to think about? I´m the one you love.
Bianca: Oh, please! Everything about you screams desperate.

Amelia: I´ll show you desperate…

Amelia wants to throw herself at Bianca, but Francis steps in between the two once more.

Cat: Girls, no fighting!
Bianca: she started it!
Amelia: did not!

Cat: Oh, for heavens ´sake…
Amelia: Escuse me?
Cat: I´m sorry! But the two of you need to chill!

Bianca: Granma here is the one who needs to chill. I´m cool as a biscuit.
Amelia: what´s cool about a biscuit, you moron?
Bianca: you´re the moron, you old hag!

Amelia lunges at Bianca but Francis gets in her way.

Amelia (pissed off): are you defending her?
Cat: No fighting!
Bianca: Ha! You got scolded.
Cat: shut up Bianca!

Amelia: Ha!
Cat: Amelia!
Amelia: what?
Cat: I seriously need a drink right now…

Amelia: Francis!
Cat: what?
Amelia: choose…

Cat: there´s nothing to choose.
Amelia: Excuse me?
Bianca: Ha!
Amelia: “Ha” me again and the next thing you know, you´ll be swallowing that collar of yours.

Bianca: This isn´t a collar, it’s a necklace, so there. Ha!
Amelia: I´m…

Cat: Amelia!
Amelia: What? She´s testing my patience Francis!

Francis turns to Bianca leaving Amelia fuming.

Cat: Bianca, I think you´re a very lovely girl, very beautiful…

Bianca starts to smile victoriously.

Cat (cont.): But I´m in love with Amelia.
Bianca: But she´s an old hag!

Amelia´s murderous instincts kick in once more and she wants to scratch Bianca´s eyes out.

Francis pulls her back, risking his own life.

Cat: That may be true, but she´s the one I love. You´re still just a kid. You´ll find someone when you get older.

Bianca: whatever. You´re just an old dude anyways.
Cat: Hey!

Bianca looks at the two, snorts and walks away.

Francis turns around to find an infuriated Amelia.

Cat: Oh lord! What have I done?
Amelia (angry): who´s an old hag?

Francis looks at the Pen for help but to no avail. The Pen is gone.

Cat: The beautiful and amazing princess kitten I love with all of my heart…

Francis´s words do the trick and melt away Amelia´s anger.

Amelia: well then, if that´s the case, then you´re forgiven.

From a safe distance, the Pen watches by as the two walk away together.

Pen: slick! Very slick Francis!

The Pen “feels” a presence and looks behind.

“It” finds a curious Bianca staring intently.

Bianca: what the hell are you?

To be continued…

2016_Joana Teixeira


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