The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 39

Jason, Francis´s owner arrives home.

He has a cat carrier in his hand.

Jason goes into the kitchen and puts the cat carrier on the counter. He opens in to allow Bianca to come out.

Bianca is small, white and extra fluffy. She has a pink bow on her head.

Jason: Okay princess! This is where I live and this is where you´re going to stay for the next few days while my sister is away on holiday. Okay?

Bianca: Who cares? Just give me some fillet mignon and some milk and I´ll be fine…


Bianca (cont.): But I want the good stuff! Not that carton crap you humans are used to!

Jason couldn´t care less about Bianca´s bitching as he doesn´t get a thing she´s “miauing” about.

Francis´s curiosity beats his laziness and he gets of his ass and runs over to see what is going on as he hears Jason walking about in the kitchen and talking.

He´s surprised by what he encounters.

So is Bianca.

Bianca: Well, well… Hello there!
Jason: Oh good, you´re here.
Cat (clueless): Hello…

Jason: Francis, come here!
Cat: What is going on?

Jason grabs Francis and puts him on the counter next to Bianca.

Bianca nears Francis.

Bianca: what´s your name?
Cat: My name? You mean me?
Bianca: Yes, you gorgeous cat!
Cat: Gorgeous? Who? Me?

Bianca: See anyone else here?
Cat: well, Jason is here.
Bianca: Of course I don´t mean the useless human.

Francis gets angry.

Cat: Hey! He´s not useless. And he´s my friend!
Bianca: Sorry, I didn´t mean to offend.

Jason: Francis this is Bianca, be nice to her okay?

He watches as the two near each other.

Jason: Okay. You two seem to get along.

He puts them both down on the floor.

Jason: Now, I´m going to go. But you kitties behave okay? And I mean you Francis!
Cat: What did I do?

Jason leaves.

Bianca: So, now that we´re alone…
Cat: What?
Bianca: Tell me Francis, do you have a girlfriend?

Cat: As a matter of fact, yes, I do.
Bianca: Do you like her?
Cat: very much so, yes.

Bianca: she´s not here right now.
Cat: so?
Bianca: Maybe you and I could have some fun together.
Cat: Like what? You want to play cards or something?

Bianca: Ha, ha… No, I want you!
Cat: You want what?
Bianca: You!
Cat: What for?

Bianca: You know what for.
Cat: I really don´t.
Bianca: Oh, for heaven´s sake Francis!

Cat: Listen kid, I don´t know what it is you want, but I do have things to do. Make yourself at home. I´ll see you later.
Bianca: wait!
Cat: What?

Bianca: You can´t be serious.
Cat: About…?
Bianca: Francis, you´re a male.
Cat: yes, I´m aware of my own anatomy. Thank you very much.

Bianca: And I´m a female.
Cat: Had noticed.

Bianca: And you can´t put two and two together?
Cat: Of course I can! Who do you take me for?
Bianca: oh, thank goodness! For a second there I thought you were clueless.
Cat: clueless about what? Everybody knows that two plus two is four.

Francis looks very proud of himself.

Cat (cont.): I´m not an idiot, despite what that pen´s stupid remarks.

Bianca is speechless.

Cat: If that is all, I´ll see you later. Like I said, I have things to do. Bye.

Francis walks away leaving Bianca dumbstruck.

Bianca: Is that guy for real? How much of an idiot can he be?

To be continued…

2016_Joana Teixeira


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