The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 32

Francis, the cat, is by the window watching by as nighttime approaches.

He looks scared and on edge.
His nails are digging deep into the pillow he is laying on.

His fur is standing up, alert, just waiting for Amelia to show up and kill him.

The Pen looks at the cat and realizes Francis is suffering with this whole Amelia thing and turns to walk away. No point in getting on Francis´s nerves. He´s already upset.

Pen (rethinks): But then again…

The Pen goes to Francis. Such a good opportunity cannot be wasted.

Pen (girly voice, yells): Hello Francis!

Francis yells, jumps into the air, and lands on his face with the pillow falling on top of him soon after.

He rushes to cover himself with his paws, begging.

Cat: Please don´t kill me!

The Pen starts to laugh hysterically.

Pen: Ha! Ha! Ha! I´ve said it before and I´ll say it again: You´re so easy Francis!
Cat: Oh thank God it’s you!

The smile on the Pen fades.

Pen (surprised): What?

Looks around.

Pen: What?

The cat stands and walks towards the Pen.

Cat: I thought you were Amelia.
Pen (ignoring the cat´s remark): Okay, I just scared the crap out of you, but you´re not mad?
Cat (not listening): What?

Pen (irritated): I scared you! You should be mad! Screaming and trying to bite me and what not!
Cat: Oh… sorry! No, not today…

Pen: Francis, you really need to cut this out! Stop with the whole Amelia thing! Maybe she´s not even pregnant. Maybe she just ate something that made her really fat and now she thinks she´s having octuplets.

Cat: But, what if she really is pregnant?
Pen: Then step up! Be a father to your child, or children, I mean, she´s a cat, she´ll probably have like six or seven cats.

Cat (horrified): six or seven?
Pen: You didn´t think it be just one did you?
Cat: Maybe two, maximum three! But six or seven? Are you crazy?

Pen: She´s a cat!
Cat: I´m a cat!
Pen: We´re getting off point here! Just imagine little Francis and little Amelia clones running around calling you daddy, and you and Amelia all “lovey dovey” raising your kids.

Pen realizes that the cat is off to la la land drooling and imagining a great scenario all happy and stupid.

Pen (yells): Hey!
Cat: What?
Pen: you liked that didn´t you?
Cat: yes, I did! You´re right! Maybe it won´t be so bad.

Pen: Of course not!
Cat: I´ll have my own family.

Pen (grins): Yes, that is until…
Cat: Until what?
Pen: Until Amelia gets sick of you, and tries to kill you again!

Cat: What? What are you talking about?
Pen: And the kids! I mean, feed them, clean them, they´re a hand full, are you sure you´re ready for that?
Cat: Wait, clean them?

Pen: Did you think kids had a “self wash” button or something?
Cat: They don´t?
Pen: Until they grow up you´ll have to be the one to wash them. All of them!
Cat: oh crap!
Pen: yeah, that too…

The cat looks at the pen disgusted and looks away like he is going to be sick.

Pen: Man up Francis!
Cat: I don´t have a choice do I?
Pen: No.

Francis turns around and walks away from the Pen.

Pen: Where are you going?
Cat: I don´t know… I need to think.
Pen: Francis?
Cat: Yeah?
Pen: Good luck!
Cat: Thanks.

Francis, the cat walks away and leaves the room.

Pen: well that was easy! I actually feel sorry for the poor smuck!

The end!

2016_Joana Teixeira.


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