Francis, the cat, enters the house through the back door, paws dirty from the mud outside.
Francis tries to clean his paws on the mat. He manages to get most of it out.
After checking his “feet” and content with the result, Francis shrugs and moves further into the house, leaving a trail of mud behind him.
On his way to his bed, Francis gets caught by Jason, his owner.
Jason (yelling): Francis!
Jason: Get back here this instant.
Cat: You do know I´m not a dog right?
Jason: You stupid cat!
Cat: Stupid? Who´re you calling stupid, stupid?
Cat: I´m Francis! The wonderful and amazing cat…
Jason: No miauing! Come here!
Jason grabs Francis and takes him to the bathroom.
Cat: stupid human, what do you think you´re doing?
Jason: Bath it is.
Cat: No! I´m sorry! I love you!
Realizing his plea was having no effect.
Cat: Stupid human…
Jason gives Francis a bath.
After his bath, Francis comes out of the bathroom, fur standing up.
Jason: Now be a good boy.
Cat: I hate you! I´m going to bite you, asshole!
Jason: I´m serious Francis, behave!
Cat: Shut up.
In his bed, Francis looks at himself, his paws, his legs… He tries to groom himself.
Cat: Dang, I´m sexy!
Pen: Yeah, you´re a sexy beast!
Cat: I know, right? Wait, what?
Pen: Hi there sexy.
Cat: Stop it!
Pen: Hey, I´m agreeing with you.
Cat: Well, stop it, it´s weird.
Pen: what is? Me calling you sexy?
Cat: Yes! Stop it!
Pen (teasing): sexy!
Cat: No, shut up!
Pen: sexy beast!
Cat: Please stop.
Pen: Ha, ha, ha!
Cat: I hate you!
Pen: No, you don´t.
Cat: Yes, I do!
Pen: you love me.
Cat: No, I don´t!
Pen: of course you do.
Cat: My head hurts.
Pen: you´re getting old.
Cat: Say what now?
Pen: Old, ancient; all that “sexy talk”, its old man´s talk.
Cat: I´m not old!
Pen: Just ancient.
Cat: go away!
Pen: I´ll let you rest.
Pen: Yes, I´ll be nice.
Cat: Thank you.
Pen: I was taught to be respectful of my elders.
Pen: Bye now…
Cat: Stupid pen, get back here!
The Pen is gone.
Cat: I hate that crappy pen! I´m not ancient, or old!
Pen (from afar): ha, ha, ha!
Cat looks around but sees nothing, the Pen is nowhere in sight.
He gets up, and walks towards the couch. He tries to jump to it but fails miserably.
Cat: Crap! I am getting old!
2016_ Joana Teixeira