The Drunken cat and the possessed pen!_episode 23

Francis, the cat, is basking in the Sunlight on the balcony, just outside His house.

Cat: what a beautiful (hiccup) day. It´s so lovely…

A bird flies by.

Cat: hello birdie. Don´t be afraid, I won´t eat you
Pen: Of course not, you fake cat!
Cat: Fake? Why am I fake?
Pen: real cats hunt. A real cat would chase and catch that bird. None of that “how are you birdie” crap.
Cat: stupid stick, you´re an inanimate object, why should I listen to you?

Pen: Because I am the almighty, all knowing Pen.
Cat: way I see it, you´re the almost gone pen to me.
Pen: say what now?
Cat: you´re running out of ink.
Pen: Am not!
Cat: yeah, you are! And you know what that means right?

Pen: What?
Cat: No more ink! No more juice! No more Pen!
Pen: Kitty, am I going to die?
Cat: Probably.
Pen: you´re so cold! Won´t you miss me?

Cat: of course not.
Pen: Kitty I think I see the light…
Cat: yeah, yeah… If you see it, then walk straight towards it
Pen: kitty, I think…
Cat: what?

Pen: Sorry fur ball, not how it works
Cat: not how what works?
Pen: well, I can always get more ink.

Cat: what?
Pen: I´m eternal, like a vampire.
Cat: you do suck the joy out of me whenever you appear.
Pen: you are so ungrateful!

Cat: And I should be grateful to you because?
Pen: I keep you company!
Cat: No, you annoy the hell out of me! That´s what you do.

Pen: I thought we were friends.
Cat: you thought wrong!
Pen: then you´re not going to miss me?
Cat: Nope!

The Pen “jumps” and flies over Francis´s head releasing the final remains of ink on the feline´s head.

Francis, the cat, despairs.

Cat: stupid stick, look at what you´ve done!

Francis looks around, but the Pen is nowhere in sight.

Cat: Pen? Stupid stick? Please don´t go! I didn´t mean… oh well, who am I kidding. Rest in peace (hiccup) stick from hell!

2 hours latter

The cat wakes up after a much needed rest and goes for the remaining goods on his favorite red cup.

Cat: oh Pen, I will miss you. I´m so sorry you´re gone…
Pen (v.o.): I will always be with you Francis!

Cat: yes, yes, you will… wait what?
Pen: hi there kitty cat. Oh, are you crying?
Cat: weren´t you supposed to be dead.
Pen: dead?
Cat: yes, dead! Tot, kaput!

Pen: I was running out of ink, but Jason loaded me up with some more. So I´m good to go!
Cat: that useless, stupid man.
Pen: Francis, just admit it, you missed me.

Cat: No I didn´t!
Pen: you were crying.
Cat: I´m drunk, of course I’m crying.

Pen: So, you didn´t miss me?
Cat: No!
Pen: Liar.
Cat: go away.

Pen: Fine, since you weren´t sad I was dying, I´ll go.
Cat: wait…
Pen: what?
Cat (in a low voice): I am glad you´re okay.
Pen: say what now?

Cat: nothing!
Pen: love you too stupid fur ball!
Cat: stupid stick!

The end!

2016_Joana Teixeira

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